All posts tagged: life

I Wish You Had Been It

I had hoped you would be everything I wanted, but you weren’t. That’s OK. I overlaid my expectations on you to see if they would match up perfectly with who you are. Some things did, but most didn’t. That was on me. Still, I stayed. Still, I told myself I should be flexible; I should adapt; I should learn a new way of loving. And I did. You inadvertently taught me that. Thank you. You pushed me to my limit and then asked me to keep going, and I did. I broke some of my own barriers, and while I certainly didn’t do it smoothly all the time, nor did I always get it right, I certainly gave it my all. I certainly tried. Eventually, I grew tired. Sometimes I need a break from being outside of my comfort zone for too long. I need to pause, and process, and take things in, and understand, and heal, and grow, and move on. Often, I can continue on my journey with the same person, but that’s …

From My Higher Self, To Me, With Love

You are exactly where you’re meant to be, right here, right now. Not in the past, not in the future… Right here, right now, in this moment. It is only this moment. Yes, you are a spiritual being in a physical body, you are capable of perceiving non-physically, but in this current reality, in this particular moment of the Eternal Moment, your soul is co-existing and co-creating with your physical form, with your body. You must accept this; it would be delusional not to! The evidence is under your nose… Indeed, your nose is a part of the evidence. Therefore, be here, right now. Learn the lessons you came here to learn. Yes, you actually did choose to be born into a Catholic family. You chose all of your circumstances, and you are continuously creating your reality. You created this moment of writing knowing that otherwise your mind would burst; you wisely gave yourself this outlet. Trust that you are exactly where you’re meant to be and that you’re living exactly what your soul needs …

Lean On Me

I took myself to yoga today for the first time in several months. I chose to go on my own and purposely told no one about it. Could I endure it? Not physically, but mentally? I practiced yoga for many years in Argentina, but since being back in the US, I’ve had a hard time finding a class and an instructor I like. While this didn’t stop me from searching for the missing puzzle piece, it did make me lazy over time. Eventually, I arrived at the excuse of “I simply don’t want to do yoga as my main workout each week because I’m bored of it.” For the most part, I eliminated it from of my routine, with the exception of a special occasion for charity, a few poses I’ve always done before and after exercising and, of course, my headstands, because I love them. After much reflection, I finally understood the real reason behind my disenchantment with yoga: it wasn’t the practice itself, rather the quieting of my mind that seemed extremely daunting. …

A (Re)Commitment To My Self

Without actually moving an inch, I can taste the bittersweet magic of writing, of watching as the first few mischievous words fearlessly leap onto the page, not knowing where they are going, or with what purpose, but choosing to follow anyway. I can feel how it feels to get lost in the process by simply closing my eyes. I can savor that moment when I lose track of time and forget where I am, who I am, how I am, why I am; that instant when I’m simply, freely, and easily surrendering and yielding to a force and an energy so deep within myself that it is as if it were All That Is. While the words create as they please by ordering themselves however they desire, I am able to immerse mind, body, and soul into the climax-like feeling of nearing the end, and the ecstasy of knowing that, when it is finished, the masterpiece will finally reveal itself and I will inevitably fall back into the constraints of my physical world and regain …

A Realignment Of Heart And Mind

My heart was ready to explode. The top of my head was balancing on the red rocks, with my arms forming a triangle of tense support around it. My heart didn’t like this. It also didn’t like that I kept going despite its frantic efforts to get me to stop. I was attempting to straighten my back, tighten my core, and walk my legs forward before raising them into a headstand. With every movement, my heart pounded more intensely against my chest, and it did everything in its power to drown out the voice of reason coming from my mind. How could the mind not see that tumbling off a cliff was a perfectly good reason to feel afraid? My mind, on the other hand, knew better, although it was also afraid. The difference was that my mind remembered I had counted the steps before venturing upside down and that I had found a safe spot that was several feet away from the edge. It did its best to console my heart. The two of …

The Weight Of Words

“When we do things with love, even if we believe we have failed, something good can always come out of it, something good can be made from it, because the initial substance with which we started is the purest of them all: love. Such a tiny, all-encompassing word that we can feel better than we can explain. Good things in their purest form take time, effort, dedication, and perseverance. It’s never easy, but it’s always worth it. Fight. Fight fiercely and humbly for everything you believe in. As long as your motivation is sincere love, you will never truly fail. Everything in life is permeated by the very real magic of love. Choose to see things, people, and situations through that lens and your path will always unfold before you. We can never truly measure the impact we have on others, but as long as love is our motivation, we will leave the Earth a better place than how we found it.” I wrote the words above in a letter to my sister the morning …

The Mustard Seed Within

We dream things. We dream them big and small. We even dare to dream dreams undreamt of before. Many of us turn these dreams into reality against all odds. We fight for them; we adapt for them; we change for them; we move mountains for them. We find a great and wondrous strength within us that allows us to chase after them and breathe them into being. But often, our dreams begin to frighten us to inaction. We convince ourselves that we’re not good enough and, therefore, that they’re unachievable. We believe we don’t deserve to bring them to fruition. We see the work that lies ahead, the obstacles and overly beaten paths we must endure and cross, and we shy away into complacency; we wither in our comfort zones. When does this happen? And why? How does a confident and persistent person go from running head first into every adventure ready to fly, to thinking that it’d be best to lay back and watch life happen before her eyes because everything she wishes for …

She

She felt herself a victim of the world, of this cruel and unequal place into which she was born without a say. She was told she had to conform to society, but society was difficult and unfair and chaotic, and not at all what her mind, body, and soul required to achieve that inner peace to which she was told she must strive. There were too many pressures, constantly and from all sides, enough to make any human go mad. She thought herself a fighter, always seeking to do justice, but felt cut short not by her own faults, rather by a lack of resources. She craved time, yet never felt she could afford to make it. She would watch others attempt to follow their dreams and would think, “Oh, what fools!” She would see them fail and fall and dust themselves off and try, try again, and again, and again, until finally she would stop paying attention from the dizziness it caused her. Whenever she paused to think and re-consider her path in life …

Choosing Not To Choose

Choices. I wrote this word down after a conversation I had at Glide, the place where a few of us volunteer once a week to help serve breakfast to the homeless in the Tenderloin neighborhood in San Francisco. We were wondering if there was any way to simplify the process of serving food so that it would be easier both for the staff, as well as for the clients. While casually brainstorming ideas, Brando, the manager of the Free Daily Meals Program, made an interesting comment: those that come to Glide don’t have the privilege of making choices throughout their day. They go about their lives depending on the goodwill of others. “Most of the time, they don’t even get to choose where they go to the bathroom,” he said, and it’s true. A lot of us can walk into a Starbucks to use the restroom, but if any of the people that go to Glide try to do the same, they will be rejected 95% of the time solely based on appearance. This obviously …

Did I Really Just Meet The Real-Life Carrie From “Sex and the City”?

…Yes, yes I did. I’m not kidding. If Carrie hadn’t married Big and wasn’t living in a multi-million dollar New York City apartment, she would be living in San Francisco, have a boyfriend, and would be running her own successful business helping companies craft their stories through creative writing. And she would be THE BOMB. Real-life Carrie worked as a journalist for 15 years, both in newspapers and in magazines; at one time, she was the editor of Elle. Like most women that have lived in NYC, she can rattle off crazy dating stories like it’s her job, and she’s quick to smile and laugh, just like fictional Carrie. They share a subtle similarity in voice tone, and they are both tiny, fit and, simply put, badass. Real-life Carrie has been in San Francisco for 7 years after pausing her career to get an MBA with a focus on sustainability. As a journalist, she discovered she didn’t like the objective gap needed when interviewing others; instead, she wanted to side with the people she met, feel …