All posts tagged: awareness

I Wish You Had Been It

I had hoped you would be everything I wanted, but you weren’t. That’s OK. I overlaid my expectations on you to see if they would match up perfectly with who you are. Some things did, but most didn’t. That was on me. Still, I stayed. Still, I told myself I should be flexible; I should adapt; I should learn a new way of loving. And I did. You inadvertently taught me that. Thank you. You pushed me to my limit and then asked me to keep going, and I did. I broke some of my own barriers, and while I certainly didn’t do it smoothly all the time, nor did I always get it right, I certainly gave it my all. I certainly tried. Eventually, I grew tired. Sometimes I need a break from being outside of my comfort zone for too long. I need to pause, and process, and take things in, and understand, and heal, and grow, and move on. Often, I can continue on my journey with the same person, but that’s …

Lean On Me

I took myself to yoga today for the first time in several months. I chose to go on my own and purposely told no one about it. Could I endure it? Not physically, but mentally? I practiced yoga for many years in Argentina, but since being back in the US, I’ve had a hard time finding a class and an instructor I like. While this didn’t stop me from searching for the missing puzzle piece, it did make me lazy over time. Eventually, I arrived at the excuse of “I simply don’t want to do yoga as my main workout each week because I’m bored of it.” For the most part, I eliminated it from of my routine, with the exception of a special occasion for charity, a few poses I’ve always done before and after exercising and, of course, my headstands, because I love them. After much reflection, I finally understood the real reason behind my disenchantment with yoga: it wasn’t the practice itself, rather the quieting of my mind that seemed extremely daunting. …

The Art Of Self-Sabotage And How To Stop It

A quick guide to self-sabotage: Let in every, and any, negative thought about yourself. Pay no mind to whether said thoughts are real or simply perceptions. Believe these thoughts. Watch your reality turn sour. Easy, huh? We do it all the time. We allow, and sometimes even encourage, our minds to drown in debilitating thoughts. This happens mainly due to a lack of awareness and a sense of impotence, of believing we are not in control of our lives and our realities. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth. Our individual realities, our personal worlds, are created daily by us with every thought, word, and action. It is a continuous and often impercetible process; we are so used to thinking that we seldom stop to consider what we think about. Gradually, we end up influencing every aspect of our lives, but our lack of awareness leads us to not understand how things came to be or why certain situations delivered certain outcomes. This is when we start blaming external factors–things, people, or the entire …

My Personal Hell

There are moments when I freak out because of the sheer amount of thoughts sprinting so ferociously through my mind and bouncing off every edge that I feel like my brain is going to implode. These moments usually occur when I let my mental guard down and start considering such dramatic truths as the fact that we are finite creatures… That I’m 27 years old and what I’ve already done cannot be changed or re-done; what I’ve already lost cannot, for the most part, be saved. People that I love who were once in my life are no longer physically present. I cannot give them a call whenever I want, or worse, embrace them in a long, heart-felt hug. This causes me the most anxiety. The same goes for not being able to re-live certain situations of my past that were absolutely outstanding and that I miss dearly. It’s over. It’s done. People, places, things… They’ve all come and gone, some for better, some for worse. Why did no one warn us ahead of time? …