All posts tagged: featured

Showing Up for Ourselves

I’m sitting at my desk at home a bit uneasy, because for the last few days, I’ve had no idea what I would blog about next. In fact, I’m discovering it right now as I type. This is always the fear: that one day, I will run out of things to say. The only difference between feeling this way currently and having felt this way all of last year is that, last year, I was unwilling to show up to do the work. Here I am today, seated and typing words on digital paper, allowing whatever comes to mind to flow from my fingertips, regardless of how polished or unpolished, interesting or uninteresting it may be. I’ve been telling myself all day that, if I sat my butt down, something would come out. Isn’t showing up half the battle? One of my commitments in 2020 is to continuously get out of my own way. It’s nuts how I am my own worst critic when, most of the time, the rest of the world is waiting …

Alive, and Well, and Present

I’m in Miami, at my grandparent’s house, lying on an air mattress that I’m sharing with my sister, who, only 5 minutes before, had gotten up to get ready for her flight. We slept in the kitchen because all of the other couches and rooms were taken the night before. I turn my head to the left and catch a glimpse of the sun peeking in through the patio door. I let my eyes focus on each of the decorations hanging on a little strip of wall above the round glass table: ceramic houses crafted and painted by hand, with beautiful detailing. I remember looking up at them as a child and thinking, “I want my house to look like that one day.” There’s an energy in the space that makes me smile. If the walls could talk, they would tell about the amount of life that has been lived within them. They’d share about the countless parties and get-togethers; the holidays and the birthdays celebrated; the laughs, tears, and loud voices (because Cubans only …

The Purge and A Return to Self

Illustration: Copyright Male Ehul  I went to bed with a terrible migraine on December 28th and I didn’t fall asleep till around 4 am. I woke up the next day, my birthday, feeling pretty sick. By the time the 31st rolled around, I hadn’t slept for four nights, I had a lot of pain in my neck from a mattress and pillow that were not up to my body’s (picky) standards, and I had an upper respiratory infection. For the first time in my adult life –and maybe even since I was a little kid– I was not awake to welcome in the new year. The next day, my boyfriend started feeling sick and he woke up late that night shivering uncontrollably and with a very high fever, which had him be delirious for the following 24 hours. We basically didn’t leave the house that week until we no longer had a choice, because we were flying back home. I could not understand, for the life of me, why our timing had been so bad …

Falling in Love with What I Have

I’m constantly on the hunt for the new, the exciting, the inspirational. If only I can find that one thing that’ll make a difference, I will feel better, I will feel fulfilled, I will have finally arrived. (Arrived, where? No clue!) This bleeds into every area of my life, and in those moments when I don’t feel satisfied, this is why. In the last year, I’ve developed a deep interest in sustainability. When I was a kid, there was a period of time during which I’d say I wanted to be an ecologist. Of course, I had no idea what that actually meant. All I knew is that a) I thought recycling was cool, b) I wanted to do it, since I didn’t grow up in places where that was really a thing, and c) I wanted to teach others about it, too. Cue in the long laundry list of all of the other things I decided I was going to be when I grew up, and I eventually forgot about being an ecologist and …

I’ve Been Irresponsible

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique and, if you block it, it will never exist through any medium and will be lost… the world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions… it is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. – Martha Graham in a letter to Agnes De Mille This quote hit me like a slap on the face (thanks, Jess!). I realized that, during the last two years, I’ve been completely irresponsible for my voice, which likes to express itself best through writing. I have a lot to share with the world –I aim to be of service through the written word– and yet I’ve been keeping it hidden, allowing it to go silent under the weight of a myriad excuses …