Secret Hiding Place

Certain nights I fall from grace
Certain days I cannot escape
This dangerous state of mind
My masochistic way of life
The darkness and the cold
Cowering behind all of my lies…
No one was prepared to care
No one was ready to delve
Deeply into my fake reality
Which caused me to lose control
Over my body, my mind, my soul…
All along I was waiting to die
Not physically, but emotionally
Tied down by my self-imposed chains
Which I could never sever
For fear of being hurled steadily
Out of existence…
Only you understood my pain
Only you were able
To pull me up
Out of the depths of my cave…
Your presence renews my faith.
It is thanks to you
That I can live on today
With few regrets from yesterday
Because you accepted me for me
And you came to love
The person I have grown to be.
It is into your arms
That I want to fall
Keeping me safe from harm
And guiding me through it all…
They are my secret hiding place.
There, and only there,
Do I become invisible
To everything that surrounds me.
I don’t care how much people scream
When the truth is finally freed…
You were the only one who took the time
To listen to me cry.
Not only that,
But you did it without feeling any obligations,
Any ties…
You know I am infinitely grateful.
I already asked you once,
And I won’t hesitate to ask again:
Can I keep you?
Because you have been a blessing to me
In more ways than one.

Written: May 8, 2005

Photo: Belén Alemán / Sunrise in Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico