Year: 2015

The Art Of Self-Sabotage And How To Stop It

A quick guide to self-sabotage: Let in every, and any, negative thought about yourself. Pay no mind to whether said thoughts are real or simply perceptions. Believe these thoughts. Watch your reality turn sour. Easy, huh? We do it all the time. We allow, and sometimes even encourage, our minds to drown in debilitating thoughts. This happens mainly due to a lack of awareness and a sense of impotence, of believing we are not in control of our lives and our realities. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth. Our individual realities, our personal worlds, are created daily by us with every thought, word, and action. It is a continuous and often impercetible process; we are so used to thinking that we seldom stop to consider what we think about. Gradually, we end up influencing every aspect of our lives, but our lack of awareness leads us to not understand how things came to be or why certain situations delivered certain outcomes. This is when we start blaming external factors–things, people, or the entire …

All You Have To Do

All you have to do is be present, right here, right now, in this moment. Allow yourself to be here, right now. Allow yourself to love all of it: California, San Francisco, the park, the bridge, the weather, the weirdness, the people, the thought of staying put, your current circumstances… All of it. You don’t have to go anywhere. You don’t have to run. There’s no need for you to pick up and go. Drown the feeling of suffocation; it’s not real. The walls aren’t closing in on you; there’s enough room in this city for your life and everyone else’s. Memories are created with people in specific places. Sometimes revisiting these places hurts, yes, but you can move past the associations. You can create new memories. Go back to each location and make it your own. Call back your power to you; call it back from those who have proven themselves unworthy to receive it and nurture it. All you have to do is be here, right now, in this moment. Nowhere else. You …

A Realignment Of Heart And Mind

My heart was ready to explode. The top of my head was balancing on the red rocks, with my arms forming a triangle of tense support around it. My heart didn’t like this. It also didn’t like that I kept going despite its frantic efforts to get me to stop. I was attempting to straighten my back, tighten my core, and walk my legs forward before raising them into a headstand. With every movement, my heart pounded more intensely against my chest, and it did everything in its power to drown out the voice of reason coming from my mind. How could the mind not see that tumbling off a cliff was a perfectly good reason to feel afraid? My mind, on the other hand, knew better, although it was also afraid. The difference was that my mind remembered I had counted the steps before venturing upside down and that I had found a safe spot that was several feet away from the edge. It did its best to console my heart. The two of …

The Weight Of Words

“When we do things with love, even if we believe we have failed, something good can always come out of it, something good can be made from it, because the initial substance with which we started is the purest of them all: love. Such a tiny, all-encompassing word that we can feel better than we can explain. Good things in their purest form take time, effort, dedication, and perseverance. It’s never easy, but it’s always worth it. Fight. Fight fiercely and humbly for everything you believe in. As long as your motivation is sincere love, you will never truly fail. Everything in life is permeated by the very real magic of love. Choose to see things, people, and situations through that lens and your path will always unfold before you. We can never truly measure the impact we have on others, but as long as love is our motivation, we will leave the Earth a better place than how we found it.” I wrote the words above in a letter to my sister the morning …

The Mustard Seed Within

We dream things. We dream them big and small. We even dare to dream dreams undreamt of before. Many of us turn these dreams into reality against all odds. We fight for them; we adapt for them; we change for them; we move mountains for them. We find a great and wondrous strength within us that allows us to chase after them and breathe them into being. But often, our dreams begin to frighten us to inaction. We convince ourselves that we’re not good enough and, therefore, that they’re unachievable. We believe we don’t deserve to bring them to fruition. We see the work that lies ahead, the obstacles and overly beaten paths we must endure and cross, and we shy away into complacency; we wither in our comfort zones. When does this happen? And why? How does a confident and persistent person go from running head first into every adventure ready to fly, to thinking that it’d be best to lay back and watch life happen before her eyes because everything she wishes for …

She

She felt herself a victim of the world, of this cruel and unequal place into which she was born without a say. She was told she had to conform to society, but society was difficult and unfair and chaotic, and not at all what her mind, body, and soul required to achieve that inner peace to which she was told she must strive. There were too many pressures, constantly and from all sides, enough to make any human go mad. She thought herself a fighter, always seeking to do justice, but felt cut short not by her own faults, rather by a lack of resources. She craved time, yet never felt she could afford to make it. She would watch others attempt to follow their dreams and would think, “Oh, what fools!” She would see them fail and fall and dust themselves off and try, try again, and again, and again, until finally she would stop paying attention from the dizziness it caused her. Whenever she paused to think and re-consider her path in life …

Choosing Not To Choose

Choices. I wrote this word down after a conversation I had at Glide, the place where a few of us volunteer once a week to help serve breakfast to the homeless in the Tenderloin neighborhood in San Francisco. We were wondering if there was any way to simplify the process of serving food so that it would be easier both for the staff, as well as for the clients. While casually brainstorming ideas, Brando, the manager of the Free Daily Meals Program, made an interesting comment: those that come to Glide don’t have the privilege of making choices throughout their day. They go about their lives depending on the goodwill of others. “Most of the time, they don’t even get to choose where they go to the bathroom,” he said, and it’s true. A lot of us can walk into a Starbucks to use the restroom, but if any of the people that go to Glide try to do the same, they will be rejected 95% of the time solely based on appearance. This obviously …