Month: April 2013

Secret Hiding Place

Certain nights I fall from grace Certain days I cannot escape This dangerous state of mind My masochistic way of life The darkness and the cold Cowering behind all of my lies… No one was prepared to care No one was ready to delve Deeply into my fake reality Which caused me to lose control Over my body, my mind, my soul… All along I was waiting to die Not physically, but emotionally Tied down by my self-imposed chains Which I could never sever For fear of being hurled steadily Out of existence… Only you understood my pain Only you were able To pull me up Out of the depths of my cave… Your presence renews my faith. It is thanks to you That I can live on today With few regrets from yesterday Because you accepted me for me And you came to love The person I have grown to be. It is into your arms That I want to fall Keeping me safe from harm And guiding me through it all… They are …

Genesis.

How do I feel? That’s a loaded question. I feel heavy. I am drowning in a sea of words I want to shout, but I fear no one will hear…  Or worse: no one will listen. But, why? Why does it matter how I feel? It doesn’t, so please stop asking. Just know that I am going to express myself, regardless. I am going to WRITE. And so, this is how it all begins. This is how I move past my comfort zone. This is how I get over myself. This is how I become invincible. This is how I fulfill my calling. Because, quite frankly, I don’t matter, but what I was sent to say, does. It needs to be said. I could care less if you agree with it. I am not doing this for you. And I am done trying to pretend that I am. So, here it is. And here you are. Feel free to read on; feel free to leave. Either way, you’re welcome. -B. Photo: Belén Alemán / Self-portrait …